During the holidays and even now the children are back to school, I seemed to be enduring constant battles and negotiations about whether the kids can play on their games and for how long, so I thought I would write a post about it to see if other parents were having the same quandry.
If I was talking about board games or make-believe or indeed any game involving some sort of sports equipment, then I wouldn't hesitate to say yes to their demands, but I am of course referring to the new generation's obsession with computer gaming.
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| Iphone and Ipad (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
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| (Photo credit: jisc_infonet) |
PC's, Xbox's, PS's, ipod's, ipad's, mini ipad's, laptops....I am sure there are others but these are the main ones that my children play on, and with each machine there comes many, many different games.
I remember when I got my first smart phone and was amazed at the quality of the games you could download directly onto the phone, and the speed that they appeared, ready to play. I loved the fact that if I was ever caught somewhere having to wait, I could fish out my phone and wile away the minutes (or hours!), completely absorbed. As my children got past toddler stage, I then realised it became a marvellous distraction device to keep them happy whilst we waited for food at a restaurant, or an appointment at the doctors, or simply at a friend's house so I could have an actual grown-up conversation! Being my mobile phone meant I always had it with me so it was so easy.
As my eldest reached double figures, the new ipod touch was available, and, as that meant he could play on all the games I had on my phone but on his own device, I was more than happy that he spent his Christmas and birthday money on one. DS2 soon followed, DS3 got his first at an earlier age simply because his brothers already had them and he was left out, and now I am only left negotiating with DD as to what age she will be allowed one (she's currently only 6)!
But the build-up towards the devices and games they play on now from when they were small seems very gradual.
Before the ipod/ipad revolution, we had a Playstation 1 and then 2 when DS1 and 2 were babies/toddlers (DH is a keen gamer), so when they were old enough there were lots of film related games available, such as Monsters Inc and The Simpsons, that they loved. We also had PC games but the PC's never lasted very long before getting itself tied up in knots with viruses and ceasing to work, but the boys did enjoy playing a few games on disks for a while. Various laptops were bought cheaply but again never lasted very long without having to be wiped and reinstalled so they soon lost interest.
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| DH loving his new apple mac |
About five years ago, my mum very generously bought DH an apple mac laptop and when we were so impressed with, it she bought me a matching one!
It has never gone wrong, never needed the hard drive cleaning or servicing and never run slow. The kids use it for their homework and playing Minecraft and the odd internet game, and I of course use it for blogging now!
DH bought an Xbox and the games were not really suited to younger children so they played more on their ipods and then Mummy's ipad (lovely Christmas present from DH, thanks very much!). By this time, DD was old enough to master some of the games so I had a folder of games for each child which then expanded over onto my ipad as well! After several annoying occasions when I was constantly being asked for my phone or ipad to play on, last year we decided to buy them an ipad mini to share, and I gleefully removed all the kids' games from my devices and got loads of memory back for more of my games!
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| DS3 enjoying my ipad! |
Writing down our own technical advancement into gaming is quite interesting, I can't believe how many systems we have owned over the years!
There's no doubt the gaming industry has improved so much since the children were young, but because of the high entertainment and quality value now, they could play all day if I let them!
Nowadays, they only play specific games on their ipods/ipad mini, mainly Celtic Heroes, but they will do it for hours! They can play with their friends in this virtual world (think Big Bang Theory!), sometimes "talking" on-line or even using Skype when playing Minecraft to discuss what to build. I found it slightly eerie hearing an unfamiliar voice barking out instructions all of a sudden as I wandered through the playroom, with DS2 warning said friend that Mum was in the room so watch what you say! I kept asking why they didn't invite the actual friend over for a play but bizarrely they never took up the suggestion.
DS2 likes watching You Tube videos and checking Facebook as well, and will often "do a Daddy", which is to disappear to the toilet for ages with a device of choice!
DS3 will play more of a variety of games and try out new ones with his sister or friends but he also has recently got into Celtic Heroes and I hear him joining in the game-related conversations with his brothers, which to me sounds like a foreign language!
DD enjoys The Sims Freeplay and some tree game (?) and there's a whole host of girlie dressing up games, but at the moment is also as happy to watch tv or play real games with her brother!
The older two now play a lot on the Xbox as well and link up with their friends and virtual "friends", even using a headset.
Now, I admit that I too enjoy gaming, and will regularly play on one or two games on my ipad. I am appreciative of the graphics of games nowadays, how real it all looks, how you move about virtual settings is so much fun and the scope of what you can do is truly amazing. I get how enjoyable it is and understand why my kids love it. What I have a bug bear about is the amount of time they spend on said games. What is a reasonable time? Half an hour? An hour? Two hours?! As I have said, left to their own devices, my oldest two would play all day! Sometimes, I am happy for them to play as it suddenly becomes a very quiet household. When I get together in the holidays with two other Mums and their kids, there are 13 children between us so to let them game together means we can have a proper chat!
I also use gaming as a good reward if they do as they're asked. Never have I seen my boys shower, dress and brush teeth so quick when there is a promise of a go on the games afterwards! Rooms get cleaned in record time, extra chores are enthusiastically undertaken and silly behaviour ceases immediately when a ban on games is threatened!
But despite the positives, I still feel a limit needs to set, I don't want my children's lives wasted on constant game playing. They should have it as a part of their life, an afterthought when other activities have been exhausted, not the one thing everything else revolves around. I know through experience that hours will pass unwittingly when using technology, and everything else is forgotten, and even when you come off the game, the brain takes time to adjust back to real life again.
So after some deliberation, DH and I have decided that gaming is not allowed at all during a school week, and at the weekend they are allowed an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon, with another short go on their ipods after dinner. This may sound a bit harsh, but we had tried letting them play in the week after homework had been completed and bags packed for the next day, but they rushed the homework and became unfocussed on school work so equipment and PE kits were left behind!
It was difficult as they moaned and complained that all their friends were allowed to play as much as they liked, but we felt as parents we had to encourage them to find alternative activities and, once they knew we were not backing down, they got used to it and have become interested in their drawing and a bit of Lego building again. A couple of times, they have even gone to their rooms for a nap as they realised how tired they were, something that gaming doesn't help! The bags under their eyes are receding, their temperament is much better, and DS2 hasn't sleepwalked all week!
As with all things in life, it seems a good balance of everything really does work!
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| My boys doing something other than gaming! |
