Living With Fibromayalgia - a third party perspective

I am writing this post in support of my lovely friend, madmumof7, who suffers from this horrible invisible illness and is hosting a linky with the above badge every month for anyone out there suffering from a similar invisible illness.

When she first told me about it I admit I had never heard of Fibromayalgia. She described it as a mix of symptoms like arthritis and ME, with the addition of brain fog to boot. At the time she wasn't having a flare up so seemed completely fine to me, when in actual fact she is never fully pain-free. It's hard to imagine she's ever suffering to be honest, as she's one of the most active, enthusiastic people I know!

I remember, when the children first joined the village school, seeing this poor mum being pushed to school in a wheelchair and wondered what was wrong with her. It wasn't until a few months later when we became friends that she explained she was having a particularly bad flare-up at that point, and that it was very confusing for people who didn't know about it as they would see her a few days later appearing perfectly fine!

Over the last six years that we have been friends, I have seen her at her best and her worst. When she felt comfortable enough to ask for help on the bad days, I have happily offered to pick up the children to take them to school and, if she was no better later, bring them home. I hope I have never made her feel embarrassed when she greets me at her house in her pyjamas because she can't make her fingers work to get dressed or has wet hair because, although she has managed to shower, her arms will not hold the hairdryer. I am happy to visit when she is home bound, to keep her company or just make her a cup of tea!

On her good days, I have seen her rush about like a whirlwind, getting things done super fast as she never knows when she will be down again!

She has never wanted to be a victim to her illness, never wanted people to pity her, and never wanted to miss out on life. She never passes up an opportunity to try something new and gives me the courage to do the same.

She showed her determination not to let this affliction stop her by going ahead with our local leg of the Team Honk Relay we had volunteered for months ago. Originally we were going to cycle our route, but, as the day got closer, it became apparent that she was on the verge of a massive flare-up. With a quick rethink, we still took part by walking a shorter route instead, with two American style wagons, one to carry our necessary refreshments and one to put madmumof7 in when it became too much!

Anyone else would have dropped out, but not this fm sufferer! We managed to meet the next group in time to hand over the baton and had such a good time doing it with fellow bloggers that I hope the laughter and camaraderie we shared made up for the pain she must have been in.

Personally, I am very bad at being ill - I get very frustrated when I am suffering from a cold, and if I have pain from an injury I take as many drugs as I can so that I can carry on as normal. Medication is not an option for Fibromayalgia as the pain comes from mixed up signals from the brain to your nerves so, although the feeling of pain is very real, painkillers don't work. Afra told me that when she realised that carrying on through the pain did not do her any damage or make it worse, like arthritis, she decided to battle through and try to ignore it. I am in awe that she manages to carry on, I think I would stay in bed and give up, but not Afra! She told me that having children actually helped to give her the motivation to carry on as normal - young children don't understand that mummy is having a bad day and demand food, help with getting dressed and going to the toilet! It literally gave her a reason to get out of bed.

Sometimes, the only clue I have that she is suffering is when she is not her usual articulate self, thanks to brain fog where she cannot think of a word mid sentence and turns to her friends to help her out. She will forget names and, instead of being her normal multi-tasking queen, will ask for any plans we are to share for the week to be texted to her so she can refer back to it later.

So, that is my perspective on having a friend with Fibromayalgia. I wish her every success with her linky and hope the more these invisible illnesses are talked about, the more the rest of us will understand and believe in the sufferers' symptoms.

Winning the best dressed prize at
the Mama Mia film together

Please click on the badge at the top to view or join in with madmumof7's linky