As a woman, we have to put up with an awful lot from our bodies. It all starts with the joyous arrival of our monthly bleed (slang terms I remember include "on the blob", "the painters are in" but there are others - what one's did you use?)
On the plus side, we are now deemed "women" and feel all mature and grown-up. However, I started early at 9 years old, so now I have been bleeding monthly for 31 years, which is approximately 370 periods (apart from the four times I was pregnant, except you then bleed heavily for 6 weeks or more after having the baby so you don't really escape!), and laugh at my young naive self! I have read many posts on Pinterest recently describing the hell we go through every month with our periods and although amusing, are actually very accurate.
The one I like the most is here (See Pin) where a male friend asks what it is like having a period.
It begins with cramps. Many of us suffer from cramps at the beginning, which are aptly described as "shoot me I want to curl up into a ball and die" cramps. One of my friends literally could not move when she was suffering and always had to use a combination of a hot water bottle and high dose painkillers to ease the pain, and going to school was impossible.
Back pains are another favourite at our time of the month - very uncomfortable, a constant nagging pain in the background, not the worst but not pleasant.
Then there's the blood loss. It literally pours from our bodies. The Pinterest post likens it to Niagara Falls and I have to admit they're not wrong! I quote "Stand up, Niagara Falls, Cough, Niagara Falls, Sneeze, Niagara Falls, Breathe, Niagara Falls".
 |
| Niagara Falls (Photo credit: Kevin Timothy) |
 |
| (Photo credit: Laurie Pink) |
 |
| Mooncup (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
A relatively new option is the menstrual cup - another friend tried the Mooncup for a while and raved about it as she had particularly heavy periods which no sanitary towel was thick enough to prevent leaks, and she was constantly worrying about showing all and sundry that she was on her period! I personally have not tried it, never being terribly keen on shoving things up my doobry-wotsits. I only use tampons when I want to swim, and used a diaphragm for an alternative to the pill for a while until I lost my grip trying to remove it mid-period and left the bathroom resembling a murder scene. It kind of put me off after that!
The worry of leakages is still there, however, and why do we always start our periods when wearing white, or in the middle of the night, waking up to find you've soaked the bed?! When I was a teenager, I remember coming home to find that I had been strutting about town with my friends in my much-loved white, on-trend pencil skirt, not knowing that I had started my period and everyone must have seen. I still cringe now!
The post then goes onto our mood swings. Somehow we are angry, horny, depressed, hungry and emotional all at the same time.
 |
| (Photo credit: brain_blogger) |
One minute I want to eat everything in sight (this is usually about two weeks before I am due on), the next everyone annoys me so much I want to kill them (about a week before), next I'm crying over an episode of Home and Away or some random thought that pops into my head (a few days before), then I suddenly find DH immensely attractive (weird, I know!), and then my period starts and I'm transported into some Zen-like state where nothing fazes me and I can deal with life in a calm, rational manner, apart from the delights of actually being on, as described above! It's exhausting! I also get nights just before my period when I'm having a hot flush and other nights where I'm having the most strange, vivid dreams. What patterns have you noticed?
So that's what we have to go through every month until we decide it's time to make babies.
Firstly, there is the bonus that our periods stop whilst we're pregnant. What I didn't appreciate is that after giving birth I bled about the equivalent of 9 months worth of periods in the space of 6-9 weeks! Even three maternity pads stuffed in my pants didn't hold the flow, it was ridiculous!
When I fell pregnant with DS1, my boobs got so sore I thought something was wrong with me. When I was getting undressed at nightime, I had to take off my bra one cup at a time whilst holding that breast, gently lowering it until I could release the other side! If I whipped off my bra normally I was in agony!
Whilst carrying a baby inside you is one of the most amazing things I have ever done, our bodies go through so many changes to accommodate the new life, and we do not come out unscathed.
 |
| Woman pregnancy month by month. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
I imagine that the transport of waste through the intestine is quite slow when the tubes have been squashed into a corner, thus making many of us suffer from pregnancy constipation!
Unfortunately, I discovered that not being able to "go" put pressure elsewhere in my body, causing me to have near fainting episodes, sometimes at home where I had to lie down flat on the bathroom floor, but once at Tesco and Toys R Us - embarrassing and not pleasant!
I got very big in the last trimester, apparently DS1 was "all in front", which put a massive strain on my back and, although I was lucky not to suffer from the many ailments coming from pregnancy such as swollen feet, itchy skin, pre-eclampsia or SPD, I did get a groin injury from trying to steer uncooperative trollies round at the supermarket! Every subsequent baby stretched my belly the same way so that now I have been left with a huge, highly attractive (not) flap of skin which I unsuccessfully try to tuck into my knickers, only for it to poke out the bottom, and no amount of adjusting hides it away. I know, it's a testament to what my body went through to give new life, blah, blah, blah, but seriously, don't ever catch me naked!
Then, after all that, we have the wonder of giving birth! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not using this post to have a moan, I simply wish to share my experiences with you and perhaps enlighten the opposite sex about what being a woman is like. If they're anything like my DH, I don't think they have a clue!
Actually, I think the "giving birth" part is the only bit he does know what we go through as he was an active part in each of our four children's births, so I won't dwell on the ins and outs of the process.
The only part he probably didn't understand was the emotional side when our hormonal levels are all over the place again and we switch from one mood to the other at the speed of light!
So, I gave birth to four children, all naturally (albeit given a push by being induced for DS1 and 2). I had episiotomies with each one but they healed without too much problem (tea tree oil baths were a godsend), and I was particularly proud that I was able to sneeze or jump on a trampoline without wetting myself (go pelvic floor exercises!).
Then, a couple of years ago, I started to notice that my regular pattern of symptoms leading up to a period had started changing, as did my moods.
The first thing I started to notice was I was horny. Not at one point in the month but all the time! I felt like a teenage boy, or randy dog short of rubbing myself on someone's leg, I couldn't get enough! I googled it and it appears I was not alone. Peri-menopause was mentioned. I looked that up, and it's the period of time leading up to the menopause, which can be years, but can also cause hot flushes and your periods may lengthen or shorten. Most people suffer from vaginal dryness but I appeared to have gone the other way. Lucky DH!
Then I became irrationally upset and paranoid, mainly with regards to DH, becoming ridiculously dependent on him. The only time I felt like this was when I suffered from antenatal depression whilst pregnant with DD, but at least this time I recognised it and just waited and hoped it would pass. It did improve and a year later I was back to my normal self thank goodness, but it must have been due to another flux in my hormone levels - we are so driven by our hormones!
I am lucky that I have a friend a few years older than me who is going through the peri-menopause as well so I am getting a heads up on what to expect and what action to take.
We are very close and not shy about talking through private issues or things that are bothering us. She's like me, we tell it like it is, and she is a fountain of knowledge which is very handy!
A few weeks ago she mentioned that she really ought to make an appointment with her doctor about something that had been bothering her since before Christmas. She then went on to tell me that lately sex with her DH had been less than enjoyable. Not from a "I don't find him desirable anymore" point of view, but that it was actually hurting. She said it felt like he was banging against something "in there" and at first it was a mildly uncomfortable sensation but now it was hurting so much she had to ask him to stop. I was sympathetic but said that I had noticed a similar sensation sometimes with my DH but dismissed it as it didn't happen every time.
Being an internet junkie like myself, she had already googled it and it had mentioned "prolapse" but she didn't want to read further until being checked by her doctor. I was surprised as we'd both had several children without any major problems afterwards but I sometimes have this awful pressure down there when I'm having a heavy period and I would often jokingly say it felt like my womb was falling out. My friend advised me to get checked out, especially when her doctor did diagnose a prolapse and she is on a course of oestrogen tablets to help improve it. If that doesn't work then the next course of action is surgery, ugh!
So, taking the opportunity when my smear test was due (or cervical screening as they call it now!), I asked if my doc could check me out down there. After a quick rummage she said she could feel "something" and has referred me to the gynae department at my nearest hospital for an appointment in April (as ever, the not-so speedy NHS!)
If it hadn't had been for my friend being frank about her bits with me, I would have never got myself checked out until it had got much worse, so I thank her for her honesty.
And this brings me to why I wanted to write this post - by sharing in my experience of what we go through I hope to empathise with my readers, and by being honest about my ins and outs perhaps someone will recognise similar issues and seek help if needed. Girl power!
 |
| (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
No comments:
Post a Comment